the casualties of war
by beyond-the-twilight
Summary: "His clearly pregnant wife looks radiant and happy but his heart sinks - he's been away for two years. That's not his child" - Puckleberry futurefic, with Brittana and Klaine. Written for cameo45


**A/N: I do not own Glee. Another prompt/prize, written especially for cameo45 for guessing correctly! The prompt was: "Puck comes home from the army to see Rachel - but she's pregnant. And it can't be his because of the amount of time he's been gone. He walks away from her angry before she can explain. Kurt comes and finds him (maybe at a bar) and explains she's the surrogate for him and his partner". **

* * *

><p>He's only been to an airport twice before, the first time for Nationals and the second time to move to New York with Rachel, Santana, Brittany, Kurt and Blaine. He's not one of those people who have a fear of airports – he doesn't feel ill when he walks in and he doesn't feel devastated at the mere thought of one. He's not one of those people who have a constant stream of people leaving his life, and before today, he didn't think twice about airports.<p>

The first time he ever set foot on a plane was for Nationals. He wasn't thrilled to be going at first, mainly because he and Lauren had just broken up and he wasn't too keen on having to sit next to her for the flight. He wasn't scared of flying or the height or the possibility of crashing – he was only terrified of sitting next to Lauren, who was more than a little scary, but when he found out that Berry had managed to swap tickets and get the seat next to him, everything got a little better.

The second time he took a plane was when he and Rachel were leaving for New York after high school. Rachel was practically hyperventilating – petrified that she wouldn't be able to succeed and that she'd have to come back to Lima with her tail tucked between her legs – but he was freaking pumped. He was moving to the city that never sleeps with the chick he loved and a built-in family (Santana, Brittany, Kurt and Blaine) and was finally proving that he wasn't a Lima loser. He was confident that they would all achieve their goals and that life would be perfect – Rachel wanted to conquer Broadway, Santana wanted to become a lawyer, Brittany wanted to become a choreographer, Kurt wanted to become the next big thing in fashion journalism and Blaine was just following his boyfriend.

And while they were all achieving their dreams, he was determined to break into the music writing scene.

It makes sense that they all obtained their dreams. Rachel's just about to start rehearsals for a fancy new play, and Brittany's the chief choreographer on said play. Santana's practicing law in an uptown firm, Kurt's working in the fashion department of a huge magazine and Blaine's about to start work in an architect firm.

They all got what they wanted, except for him. He only got half of his dream. They'd arrived in New York to find that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't break into the music writing scene. With no other option, he joined the military academy to earn some quick money, which brings them to today.

It's only the third time he's been to the airport and he suddenly realizes why everyone hates them so much. Rachel's standing beside him, holding his hand, and Santana, Brittany, Blaine and Kurt are grouped around them. Kurt's already crying and Brittany's looking confused as to why they have to say goodbye, while Rachel is petrified, refusing to let go of his hand as she squeezes tighter and tighter, until both her wedding ring and engagement ring dig into his hand.

His uniform feels tight and restrictive as he says goodbye to his family, and the love of his life, the only part of his dream he'd managed to snare, as he prepares to depart on a two year tour.

* * *

><p>He starts with Blaine. "Make sure you look after the girls when I'm gone. You'll be the only man around here once I'm gone", he teases, chuckling at Kurt's indignant squeak of protest. "You make sure that Rachel takes care of herself and doesn't stuff up this play, because you know how she gets. Make sure she keeps living while I'm gone and doesn't screw up the rest of her life while trying to worry about me"<p>

Blaine nods and shakes his hand, an unspoken agreement passing between the two of them. Blaine's the head of this little family while he's away; even though both of them know that Santana and Rachel are the driving force (it's nice to pretend that they have the power).

He doesn't say anything to Kurt, merely pulls him into a tight hug and pats his back reassuringly as he cries. Kurt's become something of a brother to him since they've been out here, but he's not good with feelings and shit (something that hasn't changed since high school).

"Satan, Britt..." he says quietly as he moves onto them. "Satan, good luck with everything – we all know you're a ferocious bitch so it's time to show that to the world. Britt, make sure Rachel and the cast look amazing on the stage... I wish I was there to see your choreography come to life"

"Move it along Puckerman, and stop acting like this is goodbye", Santana orders while Brittany sniffles. "We'll be seeing your stupid ass soon enough – it's not like we can get rid of you; god knows, I've tried"

He smirks at Santana's words, knowing that it's her way of ordering him to be careful and come back in one piece. She may only show her emotional side to Brittany, but he's her oldest friend and he knows that she cares.

He looks round at the small group of people that have become his family and his eyes stop on Rachel. Her eyes are filled with tears and his heart breaks at the sight. Ever since they got together in senior year, his one goal was to make sure she never felt alone or upset again, but here she is, devastated because of him.

"Rach, babe, you know I'm coming back, right?" he says softly, pulling her to the side so that the rest of them don't hear the conversation.

"There is no way you can promise that Noah. You're about to get on a plane that is going to take you directly into the heart of a war, and it's not going to bring you back for two years. I'm not going to see you for two years and when I go to sleep at night, I'm not even going to know if you're still alive"

"I love you Rachel Puckerman. I've loved you ever since senior year and I'm not stupid enough to die and mess up the rest of our lives together. You've got to believe that I'm coming home because I don't think I'll be able to get through this if you don't believe that I'll come home", he whispers softly, his thumb tracing soothing patterns over her hand.

"So, I'll see you in two years then... not a day later, okay?" she whispers back, tears streaming down her cheeks.

He presses his lips against hers one more time, not even hiding the fact that his eyes are now filling with tears. She pulls away from him when her tears start rolling faster, and she's never looked so beautiful to him, except for on their wedding day.

"I'll see you in 730 days Rach. Start counting because I'll be back before you even have a chance to miss me", he yells over his shoulder as he turns to walk to the departure lounge, frowning as the PA system announces the final boarding call for his flight.

"I love you Noah Puckerman", Rachel calls after him and he has to fight the temptation to turn back. If he turns around and sees her, he'll never be able to get on that plane.

Now he knows why everyone hates airports.

* * *

><p>The battle is fierce, even though he's not on the front line. He's patrolling villages and helping with the evacuation of local residents, but every now and then, one of his friends will take a bullet out of nowhere.<p>

It's dangerous work because none of the native soldiers are pleased that American's are helping rescue their civilians but it keeps his mind and body busy without the risk of being in the front line.

He gets letters from Rachel every couple of weeks, and the delay between them sucks but at least he's getting letters at all. Some of the other guys have yet to get letters from their families because of the crappy postal system so he's beyond lucky to get one on a regular basis.

Occasionally, when he returns to the main base camp, he's allowed access to the computers and the dodgy internet connection so that he can see a blurry Rachel via webcam. She always cries whenever they get to talk and even though he teases her about it, he's kind of happy that it's as sucky for her as it is for him. He was a little scared that he'd be miserable while she kept on living happily with their friends in New York.

She comforts him about the people he's lost and fills him in on what's going on at home. He laughs at the stories she tells about the latest mistakes Brittany's made (including trying to rescue a penguin at the zoo) and loses his breath at the photos of Rachel at Quinn and Sam's wedding, as well as smiling at how happy Brittany and Santana look, wrapped in each other's arms.

He can't wait to be back at home.

* * *

><p>Its five months before he's supposed to arrive home and he gets a letter from Rachel. It's shorter than usual – only a page instead of the usual four – and basically tells him that she has amazing news that she wants to tell him, news that can't be said in letters or over webcam.<p>

She signs the letter the way she always does (_152 days until we're together again Noah Puckerman... I love you)_ and he runs his hand over the row of x's underneath her name.

He can just imagine her writing the letter, beyond excited about the news she has to share and already impatient to spill it, but resolved to keep it a secret.

God, he's missed her so damn much.

* * *

><p>It's been a long two years away from home, with only letters from his girl and the occasional phone calls getting him through it. He's lain in mud, watched his friends take bullet after bullet and fallen asleep under the night sky with only a crinkled photo of Rachel to keep him safe.<p>

Rachel... his wife, and the only thing keeping him alive throughout the tour. He's twenty seven years old and his life with Rach has only just begun... he's not stupid enough to die and screw that up.

It's been two years but he's finally going home.

* * *

><p>The plane ride feels like it takes forever. The flight attendant smirks at him and nods towards the bathroom, but he ignores it. It's nice to know he's still got it (in all honesty, the uniform he's wearing probably has something to do with it) but he only wants Rachel – has only wanted Rachel for a long time now.<p>

He's the first off the plane and curses the entire time he's waiting for his bag. Every second wasted here is a second he could have spent pressed against Rachel.

By the time he's grabbed his bag, he's more than a little antsy. He practically runs through the arrivals door and into the main hall. Rachel's standing there, holding a sign reading Mr. Puckerman and a small smile tugs at her lips. Her eyes are alight and she looks just as beautiful as she did on their wedding day.

Her dress is stretched tight across her stomach and she looks bigger than she did the last time he saw her. He's not being a jerk... it's just Rachel's always been skinny as hell but she's got a defined bump now.

His clearly pregnantwife looks radiant and freakishly happy but his heart sinks.

Clearly_ pregnant _wife.

He's been away for two years. That's _not _his child.

He brushes straight past her, ignoring her cries of Noah, even though they follow him all the way to the car park. He can hear her footsteps pounding after him as he tries to hail a taxi but he has an advantage.

The baby in her stomach is slowing her down and by the time she reaches the taxi stand, he's already in a car that's speeding towards Santana's apartment (the only place he can go considering his apartment is half Rachel's and Kurt and Blaine's apartment won't have any sympathy for him).

* * *

><p>Santana opens the door to him with a soft smile on her face (she's a lot more mellow now that she and Brittany are together). Brittany's already made the couch up for him and he can smell cookies, so they clearly knew he was coming.<p>

"Rachel called", Santana offers as she sees his inquisitive look. "I told her you wouldn't stop to listen if she turned up at the airport pregnant but she wouldn't listen"

"I can't believe she cheated on me", he says quietly as he sinks onto the couch and buries his head into his hands.

"But she didn't cheat..." Brittany says slowly, almost as if she's speaking to a child.

He misses the warning glance Santana sends Brittany, too busy lamenting the end of the best relationship he ever had, with the only woman he's ever truly loved.

"Britt... she's pregnant and I haven't been with her in two years. There's no way that baby is mine, so she cheated on me", he explains to the blonde, trying to bite back the anger that threatens to overflow. He doesn't want to upset Brittany (and subsequently Santana), not while they're letting him sleep on the couch.

He doesn't notice Brittany and Santana walking out of the room, already caught up in his own thoughts.

* * *

><p>He waits until Santana and Brittany are asleep before sneaking out of the apartment. There's a small bar on the corner of the street and all he wants is to drown his sorrows.<p>

The bartender smiles at him like he recognises his face but can't quite place the name but he doesn't offer it. All he wants is to get completely hammered, stumble back to Brittany and Santana's apartment and pass out on the couch.

He doesn't understand how she could do this to him; how any of them could do this to him. It's not just Rachel that's betrayed him, it's all of them. He's had letters from all of them over the last two years but none of them mentioned anything about it, even though they obviously knew.

Every single time he's spoken to her, she's been crying because she missed him. How did it go from that to her getting pregnant with another man's baby? Just five months ago, she was telling him that she had this amazing news she couldn't wait to share, and now, she's pregnant (three months pregnant according to the dates on Brittany's cat calendar).

He hates the feeling in his chest, like he'll never be able to get past this... like he'll never be able to breathe properly again.

* * *

><p>Now he knows what it must have been like for Finn when he found out that Drizzle wasn't his. This feeling sucks, and he knows that his pain is a million times worse than Finn's, because he's married to the person who betrayed him.<p>

What's worse is that he hasn't immediately stopped loving Rachel. It makes him feel sick to know that if Rachel turned up right now, he'd still listen to her story and beg her to explain why he wasn't good enough. Why she decided some random stranger was a better father to her children than her husband could ever be... why she decided to throw away all their history for nothing.

He loves the child growing inside Rachel too, even though he wants to curse it into oblivion for screwing up everything they had. He can't hate something that's part Rachel, because he loves every single part of her. He can't hate a child that could possibly get her hair, or her eyes, or her voice. He can't hate a child that will grow up knowing what it's like to be loved by Rachel Puckerman. It's just not in him to hate anything that's a part of Rachel.

His phone vibrates constantly; signalling that message after message is coming through. He's got messages from Kurt and Blaine, but he deletes those without reading them, not wanting to know what they have to say. He hates that his friends have chosen Rachel's side in this, either by not telling him or helping to protect and defend her.

His finger hovers over Rachel's text messages, unsure whether he should delete them or not. They're all practically the same, begging him to come home so they can talk because it's not what it looks like.

He leaves them because it's been a long time since he received a text message from Rachel (he wasn't allowed his phone on him while he was serving) and he's kind of hoping that if he reads the text messages when he's sober, the explanation will be in there.

(It's not).

* * *

><p>Santana lectures him when she finds out he's hung-over on their couch and Brittany looks at him imploringly from the kitchen, her eyes begging him for something, although he's not sure what.<p>

He waits until Santana's gone to the gym before asking her. "Britt... last night, you said that Rachel hadn't cheated on me... what did you mean by that?"

"I'm so sorry Puck but I'm not allowed to say. Rachel banned us all from telling you cos she really wanted to tell you herself, and I don't want to make her upset by ignoring that"

"Brittany, this is important. I'm sure she won't mind you telling me because her plan has gone so epically wrong"

"I can't tell you. I made a promise to Rachel, and I know you're mad, but I can't break a promise to my best friend, no matter how much I love you. Santana called Rachel last night and screamed at her because she's mad at her for hurting you, cos you're her best friend, but she still said I can't tell... but you could guess! If you guess, I can tell you if you're right or wrong so you'll know the truth but I won't have told"

"She was lonely so she slept with someone else? She realized she didn't love me enough to wait two years so she slept with someone else? She gets off on hurting people so she slept with someone else?" he growls, his eyes narrowing even though Brittany looks upset.

"Puck, that's enough", Kurt calls from the doorway and he spins around angrily, glaring at both Kurt and Blaine, who's standing there awkwardly. "Brittany, we'll take it from here... Santana's waiting downstairs to take you out for breakfast"

He watches as Brittany walks out of the apartment, her face sad, and turns to face Blaine and Kurt as they sit down in front of him.

"It's time we had a little talk Puck"

"Look, I know you're upset..." Kurt begins, but he doesn't get a chance to go any further before Puck explodes.

"Damn right I'm upset. I come home from two years away - two years that I spent missing Rachel so much it goddamn hurt – to find out she's pregnant. And then I find out that every single one of you knew but none of you had the guts to tell me the truth. I considered you my family and all of you turned your backs on me and chose Rachel when I needed you the most", he rants, pouring all of his anger onto Kurt.

"Feeling better?" Blaine asks, his voice coloured with concern.

"A little, not that you care"

"First of all, we do care about you. Second of all, we told Rachel that this was a stupid idea but you know how she is... she's stubborn and won't listen to anyone once she has her mind made-up. And lastly, we're here on her permission. She wanted to be the one to tell you but you wouldn't answer her texts or her phone calls so she sent us. Rachel didn't cheat on you, Puck, no matter what you believe"

"How am I supposed to believe that she didn't cheat on me when I've been away for two years? How can you possibly explain that?"

"Five months ago, you got a letter from Rachel, telling you that she had news that she had to share in person", Blaine says quietly.

"Wait, that's when this all began? She's been cheating on me for five months!"

"For Versace's sake, listen to us. Five months ago, Rachel told you that she had news that had to be shared in person, because five months ago, we asked her to be a surrogate mother for us", Kurt explains, his eyes trained on Puck's.

"Wait... surrogate mother?"

"She didn't cheat on you. That's mine and Kurt's baby, not some other guy's. We said that she should tell you, but she wanted to tell you in person. We all said it was a bad idea for her to show up at the airport pregnant but she said that you loved her enough to stay and listen to her explanation", Blaine adds.

Blaine and Kurt both look at him expectantly but he's frozen. He left Rachel in the airport and ignored all of her calls and messages and she hasn't done anything wrong. They haven't seen each other in two years and he's screwed it all up.

"I have to go and see her", he blurts out before jumping off the couch and running out the front door.

"Oh thank god. Now we just have to hope that Rachel doesn't kill us when she finds out that we were the ones to spill the secret"

* * *

><p>Their apartment is practically identical – the same pictures adorn the walls, the same plants stand tall in the corners and the same smell of vanilla body lotion and coconut condition still hangs in the air. The only change is the small figure curled up on the couch.<p>

She's wearing one of his McKinley high jumpers that are miles too big for her and a pair of yoga pants. Her hair is a mess and she's snuggled under that ratty old blanket she refused to throw away when they left Lima. There's dried tear tracks on her cheeks and a smudge of flour across her forehead, and he just knows that if he goes into the kitchen, there will be a batch of her famous sugar cookies, proclaiming that she's sorry.

He slowly walks over to the couch and crouches in front of her, gently stroking the hair back from her face. "Rach, babe, it's me", he whispers softly, watching as her eyes slowly flutter open.

"Oh god Noah, I am so so sorry. You have to believe that I didn't cheat on you... Kurt and Blaine asked me to be their surrogate mother and I said yes because I was so tired of being alone but I couldn't tell you in a letter or phone call because it was just _too _important. They all said I should tell you because it wouldn't look promising if I showed up at the airport pregnant but I was adamant that I needed to tell you in person. I swear that I didn't cheat on you... I'd never do anything like that, I promise", she rambles, her eyes wide as she grips his hand, begging him to listen and understand.

"Relax babe, I know. Kurt and Blaine told me everything. I'm sorry I left you in the airport and ignored your calls and freaked you the hell out but I needed time to think. I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore and that scared me cos all I've thought about for the last two years is you. I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm okay with what happened here because I'd have liked to been involved but I'm so fucking ecstatic that you didn't cheat on me that I can't even be mad over it"

"I just thought you would have known better than to assume I cheated on you", she whispers quietly and both of them fall silent, until he starts laughing.

"Only you could possibly get flour on your forehead and not notice", he teases, gently wiping the streak of flour off of her skin.

"Noah Eli Puckerman, the chances of me being the entire person on planet earth to ever get flour on my forehead is impossible as well as insulting, considering the fact that I was baking _you _cookies", she rambles, her eyes narrowed in anger. "And for you to start laughing when we are having a serious, life-changing conversation"

He just laughs harder as Rachel's face flushes with anger. "If you don't stop laughing right now, you'll be sleeping on the couch Puckerman"

He quickly stops laughing when he sees how serious she is – a night on the couch is no laughing matter, especially when he hasn't seen her in two years.

"Sorry", he mumbles as he climbs onto the couch and wraps his arms around her. "I'm really, really sorry"

It's been a long two years, and an even longer night, but he's finally back where he belongs.

* * *

><p>"Wait... did you say Kurt and Blaine told you?" Rachel asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I specifically told them not to"<p>

He doesn't say anything in response, choosing to help the guys who let him in on the secret instead of getting them in trouble, but Rachel interprets his silence as a confession.

"They aren't going to know what hit them", she promises as she reaches for the pen and notepad she keeps on the coffee table. "It's time for us to start planning our revenge"

He gently pulls the pen and paper away from her and presses his lips against hers. "How about you and me get reacquainted before you destroy Kurt and Blaine?" he asks, before leading his beautiful wife into their bedroom.

God, the things he'd do to protect his friends.


End file.
